Self Trust
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned comes down to self-trust.
There is the person who I know I am in my heart and soul. And then, there is the reconciliation that happens - with the version(s) of myself I relay to others and the roles I play in the world.
Maybe there’s not enough discussion on this process of reconciliation, and how it can cause so much grief. As we begin to discern who is our true Self and live in this light, awareness arises around boundaries and even decisive separation from people, places, and things that no longer align with (or are inhibitive to) the version of our Self we most hope to become.
Then comes a choice: Do we remain comfortable and constant or confront discomfort and change?
As I develop self-trust, this process of discernment becomes easier.
As I begin to learn from and through myself: who and what is my most authentic expression, the way forward becomes clear - even inevitable - to a life defined by my newly clarified needs and values.
The process of transitioning from a former self, living in the mind and ego/scarcity, into a higher or more authentic expression of a higher Self, living in the heart and gut cultivating an intuition-based/abundance mindset, can be a painful and isolating process.
“Misinterpretation” is a word I often mumble to myself, in moments of feeling shame or sadness at the separation between my intended meaning and others’ perceptions of me.
To combat this cycle, I have found I can build self-trust by consistently showing up and raising the bar for my own expectations and accountability in my own life.
In the past, I felt like I was standing in a crowded, noisy room drowning in the uncomfortable heat of others’ perceptions - and I let this feeling define my reality.
As I develop self-trust, the chaos of divergent opinions and the hot-collared pressure to choose the “right way” to please those around me, no longer moves me.
As I trust myself more, I can instead see the origin of others’ perceptions from their own lens of experience. And I can choose to honor their experience without internalizing a negative or shameful perception, which I now understand is not mine to hold.
Having transcended bi-coastal barriers, I like to think of myself as a hybrid blend…
Seven years in Los Angeles (over two stints), three years in Florida, and the remainder of my upbringing in and around New England and metro NYC.
The experience of having multiple “homes” has made me more adaptable and tolerant of different ways of living and of seeing the world. It has also complicated my self-image, impacting my self-confidence and self-perception - or which version(s) of myself I choose to “wear” in the world.
It has also convinced me that there is no “right way” to move through life.
All we have is the life we choose.
Guided by the choices we make, and if/how we choose to intentionally align and realign with our values.
If you’ve been privileged enough to travel anywhere outside of the States: to India, Thailand, UK, Kenya, you will find people of all personalities, ethnicities and backgrounds.
I urge you to see yourself in them.
All are correct. None are correct.
Knowing this, how do we choose to live?
For me, by building self-trust.
Self-trust emerges from our inner knowing which tells us the best path forward based on our values with the information we have (i.e. what are your priorities and how do you allocate your time/resources accordingly?).
This does not make it any easier to transmute, to adapt, and be of service within various cultural contexts which confront or rub up against our pre-established values.
Self-trust allows me to lead with acceptance and intention, knowing that every individual has the right to their own perception and to act according to their own values and knowing.
As do I.
The more I develop self-trust by following through on and for my Self, the easier the process of discerning my own authentic voice and taking action accordingly, becomes.
Think about it:
When do you feel most in touch with your self trust?
What are your favorite practices or paths to build more trust in your Self?
How can our given and chosen communities benefit from our own recognition of multiplicity/multiple perceptions?
How does individual agency and self-trust contribute to self-fulfillment and potentially, more peaceful communities?
As always, I enjoy hearing how you are doing and the stories or questions you are wrestling with, and/or how self-trust relates to your experience today.
With you in Yoga,
Amy